


Leznupar

by AnonEhouse



Category: Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-05
Updated: 2011-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-14 11:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/148608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apocalyptic lesbian Rapunzel in space, with royalty and zombies. Drat. I didn't fit in WWII.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leznupar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Care](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Care/gifts).



> I love crack!fic and Care's prompts filled me with delight.

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Leznupar wasn't supposed to leave her quarters. That was one of the first things Maam had told her. Right after 'Your parents sold you to me for a sack of seeds'. Her parents had been worried about the hydroponic food and air recycling system for months and kept looking at her when they talked about it, so this shouldn't really have been such a surprise. It was, though, because she'd really been expecting them to push her out the airlock to save on food and oxygen. 'Times were hard', her mother used to say. And 'Needs must when the devil drives' her father often added. They said a lot of weird things. They were a little crazy, but she put that down to them having come from Earth, before everything went wrong.

Maam's ship was larger than her parents' she thought, but it was hard to tell because Maam only let her out of her quarters when she needed her help. Once they went too close to a zombie-controlled asteroid station and Leznupar got to operate the weapons. Mostly, though, Maam just wanted Leznupar for sex.

Maam had got a little singed by one of the strange weapons they were using in the last days, but she'd been lucky. It hadn't turned her into a cannibal zombie, it just made her skin patchy green and white, and all her hair fall out. So Leznupar could understand why Maam felt she had to buy someone to have sex with and she could understand why Maam insisted Leznupar let her hair grow, even when it got too long to be comfortable inside an Eva suit.

She didn't mind the sex. Maam was inventive and considerate. She didn't even mind when Maam got drunk on 'jet-juice' and told her long, rambling stories about how she used to be queen of some island that was really, really important and she referred to herself in the plural. As crazy went, Maam wasn't too bad. And she really knew how to kiss a girl all over. There wasn't anything wrong with Maam's mouth.

The part that made life difficult for Leznupar was Maam's paranoia about the ship. She was so sure that everyone wanted her 'royal yacht' and her silly 'crown jewels' that she wouldn't let Leznupar go anywhere. She'd give her fancy dresses and jewels, but not the keycode to her quarters. So of course Leznupar figured out how to jam the lock with a few strands of her hair, and she'd sneak up onto the flight deck whenever Maam had drunk herself to sleep. At first she just listened in on the comm system, picking up traffic news, and reports of zombie infestations, but after a while she found the social links.

And The Prince. That's what he called himself. She never did get him to say what he was the Prince of, but when she saw him on vid, she decided she didn't care what it was. He was beautiful, with curly black hair and deep brown eyes and smooth pale skin, all one color, and with no wrinkles at all. She thought about him often. He told her he'd love to take her away and show her the universe. It was all parties and fun, he said.

So she gave him the airlock access code and their coordinates. After all she didn't owe Maam anything. It wasn't as if she hadn't given her a lot more than a bag of seeds worth of sex. She blew him a kiss, then shut the link and turned at a sound behind her.

"What have you done!" Maam shouted. "You traitor!" She grabbed Leznupar by the hair and shook her. She looked at the sensors. "That ship is heavily armed, and it's too close and too fast. We'll never get away." She turned on Leznupar fiercely. "Give me your hair." She picked up a laser cutter.

Leznupar cried and fought but Maam was strong, very strong. She cut off Leznupar's hair, and stuck it all over her head, and then made up her face to cover the green patches. She looked horrible, Leznupar thought as she huddled in the corner of the flight deck, sniffling. "Be quiet," Maam said as she took her place near the airlock, laser in hand, standing where the light was bad so the Prince would think she was Leznupar for a moment.

The airlock opened. The Prince came in smiling. Leznupar saw his teeth for the first time, all jagged and yellow, and saw how his ravaged skin was filled in with much better makeup than Maam used. Then Maam fired the laser, and the Prince screamed, pressing his hands against his face. "I'm blind, I'm blind! Leznupar, help me, help me!" He stretched out hands whose nails were long claws. His breath stank like decomposed flesh.

Leznupar leaped up, pushed Maam to one side and grabbed the laser from her. "I'm here, Prince!" He lunged at her, and she drove the laser into his rotten, zombie heart, before turning to put her arms around Maam. "It's all right now," she said softly, stroking Maam's wrinkled face and kissing away her tears. "I won't leave you. I won't ever leave you."


End file.
